We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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