I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
