Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
A+ Viking dick
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
