I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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