is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
