yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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