Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
