you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
