haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
that is very illegal...i love you.
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