you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
