I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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