i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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