When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
