I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
