Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
