Your dad touched me again.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize