sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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