and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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