i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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