I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
