Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
