I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
