i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
