Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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