Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
