Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
