Apparently you make a good broom.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
only if we run a train.
done.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize