thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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