I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
