You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
