East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
