She is in my trunk
That's when you crack a 10am beer
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
