i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
