i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize