This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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