He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize