he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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