life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
