just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
