We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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