I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
