Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
