She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
