any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
