god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
