is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
