If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
