I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
