Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
