she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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