theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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