you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
