she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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