Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
