Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
