Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
