I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
