Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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