Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
