It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
