Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
